I’m a perfectionist. I want everything to be just so. I want to be the mom who always has a clean house, well mannered children, a perfect marriage, and a perfectly stocked pantry. This constant striving for perfection is really me trying to prove to everyone that I am enough, and that I have my life together. This may surprise some, or maybe no one, but I am far from having my life together. And it’s honestly really hard to verbally admit that even though it’s probably obvious to all those around me.

A couple weeks ago, we watched a video clip in MOPs from the movie “Moms’ Night Out.” If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s about a young mom that tries to plan a moms’ night out for her and her friends. The night is supposed to be a get away from the stress of everyday mom life, but all hell breaks loose. This scene happens after her friends are arrested and her husband and kids are missing. She ends up having a very real and honest conversation with a man named Bones.

 

Moms’ Night Out: God’s Love for Moms

I’ll admit that I cried as we watched it in MOPs; most ladies did. If you didn’t have time to watch the whole thing, at least skip to the last 30 seconds or so. There is so much truth in what Bones is saying. Isn’t it true? We spend so much time beating ourselves up. We are always comparing ourselves to other moms. Someone else’s house is always cleaner, and someone else’s kids are always better behaved. I blame myself for everything, and I hold myself to an unattainable bar. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. Yet I’m still striving to be a better mom. But I’m acting like being a better mom is going to happen by being a different mom.

God knew what he was doing when he gave my baby boy the mom he did, even though I’m not perfect and I’m not enough, in my sense of the word. He planned on me being my Will’s mom, so I am the best mom for my Will.

Since we watched this, I’ve noticed just how my perfectionism affects my life. Everything has to be cleaned just so, and because of that, I won’t let my husband help. I expect to be so productive and involved that I overwhelm myself with too many commitments. I can’t sit still for more than five minutes because I’ve become so used to needing to do things. Rest does not exist in my life because I’m too busy striving to be someone else. The excuse of not being enough for my husband and kiddo is always near the surface, but in reality, it’s me that I’m not enough for.

I want to work towards being in the here and now. I want to work towards contentment with me and resting. I want to work toward grace for myself and all those around me. God picked me to be Will’s mom and I will cling to that.

12 Comments

  1. I absolutely LOVE this movie! It has so much truth to it! Like you, I realized a lot about myself after watching!

    Reply
  2. I haven’t seen the movie but I still love this post. I feel this way so often. I just want to be the best wife and mother I can. I always think to myself, “girl you can never drop the ball on these 2 things”. I’m at the place where I’m striving to overcome that pressure I put on myself. Your post has helped.

    Blessings!

    Ronnie
    Ladyevolves.com

    Reply
  3. Even without kids of my own yet, this is a great reminder to stop comparing! No one is ever going to be perfect and accepting that now is really the whole battle! Thank you!

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  4. You gave me goose bumps, Momma. Much love to you!

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  5. Beautifully said! Yes, God has handpicked our families. He did not make a mistake in that. And the wonderful thing is, God never called us to do this alone. He says lean on me, let me be your strength and your guide. It is a wonderful opportunity to let our perfectionistic tendencies go and lean into the Perfect one.

    Reply
  6. “But in reality, it’s me I’m not enough for”
    *CRYING*
    Amen sister!
    I have the same perfectionist problem and it really is so destructive. Nothing is ever good enough! Especially me.
    Thank God we have a saviour. I always have to remind myself to keep my eyes on Him.
    You will always be enough for Him!

    Reply
  7. I just watched that movie on Netflix the other night. It’s sooo true!! Great post, I hear u!

    Reply
  8. It’s interesting how a movie can change our perspective about things, isn’t it? I haven’t watched it yet, but it seems a to be a good movie! I have to check if it’s available on Netflix in the Netherlands. I am going to join you in practicing just being in the here and now. Take care, mama 🙂

    Reply
  9. Although I do not have little ones yet, this post has resonated with me. I always feel like I am not enough which has lead to panic attacks while doing the dishes or something else, and in the end it’s always more because of the pressure I put on myself not from other people. Thank you for this beautifully written post!

    Reply
  10. So beautiful! There is only one you… be the most her you can possibly be and everyone wins! 🙂

    Reply
  11. Wow, thank you for this post and the movie clip.

    Reply

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Hey there! My name is Rachel and I’m a 23 year old wife and mother. I’m decidedly in favor of DIY projects and decidedly against mom-shaming. This blog is my place to take a stand against superiority and to share ways to thrive in motherhood. My hope is that you leave this site feeling validated and encouraged in your mom-bilities.

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